How I Feel in the Middle of Fighting Him

how i feel in the middle of fighting him

How I Feel in the Middle of Fighting Him

I want real with flesh and blood
This only of the mind and spirit
Is so much at me
It hurts to move this fast
And every disappointment is crushing
I want to accept his flaws
Because we can
Hold each other in silence
I want to know breaks
Can be because his
Call will come when he was done
I want me to be worth it to him
No matter how heavy the bags are
He carries
For him to let me
Take those off of him
Without them put upon me
I want him to send his
Secret messages of real pictures
To see as no one knows it is
For me
So I can wait if I still must
I don't want my feelings broke the same old
Selfish ways because
For him, it is just because
If he is this insensitive
When everything is on the line
How can I trust the small moments
Or an ever
I got that piece of barely anything
One step from nothing
And I foolishly asked for more
And I got more nothing instead
My patience here
As always in everything
Is warn to its bone
What am I
With this no more
I thought I wanted
To give him time
And did time only feed my delusion
Of his hard work
When such brushing off a dusting push
Breaks me to my knees of tears
Hurting is a sign
I trusted
So why did I
He doesn't know if
He can have me
As he reaches out with words
Of being frightened
He did that to me
But such is better than pain
So he still feels better than me
I hate the imbalance of him
Always feeling better than me
Power in his hands
Feelings dumped on me
And promises whispered
With the understanding they
Only might be kept
Even if it is weeks or
Months before another word
Be silent with the maybe's
And might's
Only say what you will
And then follow through
I only ever wanted
The smallest of gestures
But his perfection's mountain
Hangs over us mute
I find his pain left upon me
A bit more of a reason
To not feel anything
No excuse for making it worse
I want a man who
Will break such roles
Or never adopt them
I want his words for me and
No words to hide those words
I want heart felt
Without the weapons upon me
I wait for the path he's walked
To learn as long as he does not wander
Off it
To inflict upon me
He could be the knight that
Holds the sun
To call my warmth and shade
He has potential he wishes
I have upon him
I do not like that I am
Thinking of such
I only want my boundaries
Worshipped and entrance earned
No more
He does not have to
Be less for this
And he will love himself more
Because he loves me for these
Healthy boundaries for no one else
Ever loved enough to show him
Let us see if he can
Become what he wished
Then such a day could
Put his whispers close enough
To smell breath
Feel him so close as to
Kiss such pain that ever was
For us to be a story
Filling our pages are not enough
We must choose what stays
And what goes
We must mold the lines
For our characters to tell
And be
As I become what no pain upon me
Paints as he uses such medium
Only love can mold
Do his weights have to be
Completely clipped to reach out with
A message for me
Just me
To embrace me with
His words of
Has anyone ever held me
With those
Will he be this one that can
As I move toward
A maybe he can
He moves away to
Business as usual
No enterest in the mending
No real understanding
To respect my askings
Bruising the boundaries he refuses
As I remind him of his sacred
In here
Once he avoids
If panful enough
He could still become
If he does not keep awareness
Of the fears
And the truth on this calls him
To work on himself more
And with love
His sweetness lingered in
That moment of transition
He left in the air behind him
Passed epiphanies and revelations
He faced a choice
He made
Will he keep making for
The next step and the next step
As he wanders to calls alone in
His work
Alone is the path he
Goes for now
As he is somewhere on cloud
Looking down upon his pain
He understands the pain in
Those that lived there
And had inflicted
He forgives them for not being
As strong as he is
To not do the same that was done upon
The power in this place
He lets cloud fill him
Is a good place to heal
As this disagreement comes
Upon another
Would they choose a path
Like his or mine
The usual would be to lose love
And gain the quality hated
That was where the child within
Would have still focused
Loving more
Love them more
Loving self
Is the better way
It feels better and
Would lead to the better within
And to come
So chose better as I
Choose better as he
And better will be
Start with feeling better
Start with easier
Let go of what you do that's so hard
It is easy to love
Just love
Let go of resistance to
All that is not love
He keeps his path to heal
Because he allowed love back
I can wait
Because I allow myself to love
Even with guarded boundaries
I can love him still
I do
I love his soul
Then he comes forward
Because I meant more than
My request
With the smallest step that filled me
With his wishes of
Traveling spotlight upon me
Including him

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