May 2016

Archived

New line of poetry blog begins after this, in August, 2016.
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Because I Am Asking

Because I Am Asking

Because I Am Asking

If answers were simple, could've been
If chaos is peace, the paws sleep
And I am under the night trees
With the roots through wonder to the core
I'll remember a few dreams and watching
Stars hold my cabin under covers
Morning in distance and a cave awaits
My slumber here to crawl me in
Is this a Spring Evening full of wind's breath
Is this my home, just above the sand
Shall I write until a storm forms
With these emotions I can meet
Because these arms of nature are
A hold of me, even in haunted tales
As I am a nature girl through until
Cackles roll off my lips with exhales
Being the fairy shadows that I am
Being the avatar of Births
I'll find a place to make even more
Of this screaming story maker
Calls inside where the mountains
Give me their voice and their throats
To quake where I walk until risen
As if I were Earth's rocks
I'll remember the emotions there
Because I am too, the one that feels
When the oceans flood my dreams
Until I awake again or more
This is my place to roll under my warm

If only I could embrace myself
Like a man I could want again
As if a man were going to be near
Or let me smell his charms of
For I am half of a match yet whole
For I am understood with eyes closed
I could touch someone there without
Being theirs, or anyone's, yet loved
I could be claimed as mate, yet
I am my own property and heart
Like the human that lives on the Earth
I can be a home or be destroyed
I can be a love or be destroyer
Life sings still, whether or not
There is destruction upon such births
Because I will always see the seed
Plant it or not, I will water my way
When the rain forgets my steps
I'll cuddle back under covered carriage
I'll fill the air with candles and
Give me the doorway to spirits
Maybe meet a man's one there and
Let him touch me until the morning
Rest calls again the smell of dirt
Rest sings a hold on me I embrace
Tomorrow is not here, as I love this
Place that can only be when I open
As I remember my brave for the day
I also found my terror met with kindness

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In Abandoned Found

In Abandoned Found

In Abandoned Found

I found myself drawn to intelligence
Wondering of a man that can handle his
When I come around with my own
That I will be friends with and sometimes
Be attracted to the tick-tick-tick
I know how to witness, unless
Your own self-talk is damaged
To the point it leaks out upon me
Because I will not have such
From my own thoughts let alone outside
If you cannot handle my simple questions
To find boundaries, politeness, or understanding
Of the tick-tick-tick you hold closer
Then leave me to be, because this is
Me, a questioner, analyzer, and I
Have done that about you if you fear
Already I know you have worth and
A great mind if you get passed your own
Mind field of what a man should be
Because I already know you are
A moody-fucking-bitch and accepted it
As a man, because any man can feel
And to feel that deeply is brave
Even it you struggle to know
What to do with all that, that filled you
A strong woman can show you if
It is not dismissed in demeaning remarks
Of hormones are the only answer
When passionate defense of boundaries shows

Remembering all the barking and flirts
As nature keeps you feeling good
I suspected less of a bite, perhaps is
Yet, next day, such pain still lurks
In my heart as if you only just ripped
The bounds of trusted friendship from
For I did not know to guard because
I stay open until retreated, yet still
Open there, because despite what I've been
Through, I know life is in my open heart
As you thought me timid and judged me
So, you executed my bravery upon you
For my heart can feel and it will keep
Feeling as I analyze another's self-understanding
Whether to become or remain hidden
Or leave me left here, with self-respect
My interest in the kindness he teased
Remains my curiosity as to what's
Hidden inside these grumpy men, when grumped
Is it only bark because I felt the teeth
The first time I've known no age
Or stars upon his birth, yet older
And I still followed like lost feral kitten
Wondering how I was going to
Get any work done with pulling interests
In a world I wanted to know, yet
I retreated to making characters instead
Because the real of these men, betray
And somewhere I know they don't have to

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Arrived in Prairie Seas

Arrived in prairie seas

Arrived in Prairie Seas

Chemicals that make my body warm
For whatever reason that brings you near
Compatible unending (nor aged) intelligence
Clicking mixes to understand underneath
What can learn to be said, simple
If bodies were promised to be burning
Would this be a normal routine, to be
Animal that can think and speak of
Human that can call or crawl to
Only in the instance of reach, and
Never a slave,nor master as
Respect is painted from a natural heart
Clearing my mind from all garbage
Once twisted to my survival's death
As I thrive with my own feet standing
Bartering for any help as I rise with
Exchanged masterings, or just a focus
Because a need was allowed delegation
Without intention or ulterior controls
Weaving a bloom, that only now
Swells seed sprouting into more warmth
I heal with roots upon my hair, brushed
My secrets, yet still my beauty there
As I've only stared into your eyes in
Glimpses as I've often turned my head
To listen to everything you have to say
Then I walk alone again, liking myself
More because I'm still able to go
As I return then, with call of animals

Your animals come, as I come to watch
If I were such a pet, I'd never
Have felt as free as the wild cats
To move along the pulled and un-tethered
Safe enough to share a wild there
I'll observe my work to be written
Into a new understanding to even speak
My goals keep me back toward (back to word), yet
I'll join you in instances of a backdoor
When the wind brings me inside, my own
Storm that waters my waiting creation
To be used like it was never damaged
With the genius of suffering wiped into
Exceptional inventions of clear air
Never minding the mountains climbed
Or fallen cliffs and rocked openings
For I am only a girl running in fields
Of prairie grass and ghosts of wild flowers
With suns setting behind windmills
As another purple sky sings clouds
I'll think of you when I'm not anything
Or when I am everything I promised myself
Thankful, I'm no longer
not dying
Nor the woman with grave dirt upon
I am born and shining as circling sun
To return to fond mornings of dove calls (and robin flirts)
I'll open my door’s cold air there
Crisp like a campground rising's play
I'll think of fires to come, where I'll sit near warm

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Hello

Hello

HELLO

Is kindness enough when I'm alien
Into words and depth I dive, unheard
How many have such ears about me
As Ice and snow slide off my roof
Like ghost watching my fort to see
Yet, no one is there, like my voice
Entering windows behind held books
Of someone else that had something
To say, while I'm speaking and singing of
This place I've come from and cannot return
In front of humans and men that make
My body warm to be near, how do I
Belong to a world full of people again
When I barely did once, before imprisoned
Monsters that harmed and chained are gone
And my animal brain is a kitty cat, that
Sleeps unending to find sanity in eyes
Meeting mine, yet I still turn away
From memories of the eyes of monsters
That got in, I don't want anyone in
As I sort who is friend, who is mate
And who would be the foe to run
Away from my awakened steps forward
As shadows are of my mane and tail
To run free inside, among my visitors
I fly around the world while sitting
By fire my friends share warmth with me
But what I say hurts the thoughts of the sleeping

Any bond toward me seems to waken
Perhaps too many do not want such peace
Yet, the ones that pretended slumber
Were demons in human skin, and not again
Sleep if you must, in my company
I shall never disturb your path without your
Request to go deeper in your own thoughts
Of me sitting here holding worlds inside me
Because my speaking is too foreign
Even when I thought I found my own
Kind, as kindness was lacking in their lost
I decided to know there could be more
Yet, not look for, no hunt for, only alone
As the conquerer of my life gave me force of
Life under sun over snow while I scanter
For those monsters' thought too long about
How to keep my death upon me, not knowing
That was their prison and only my confusion
As I have cleared this forest from deep
Only haunting trees hide my magic now
Because a Mid Summer's Night is in there
As Dreams are my blood as I rise
Because I am content with unheard
As I write it all down to choose from
I am more than pretend and paint
As my paintings sink in with my voice
And perhaps a friend sits next to me
Feeling the warm I feel with skipping heart
To know the life that is surrounding me is mine

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