What am I Counting

What am I asking

What Am I Counting

How calm and unfelt upon, is the splitting
I'm presented with each allotted space
Will there be a party in my favor
To be met after midnight in his arms
Many as it would be, to hold me
Or will my travels become the end
As I drive off into another lot
Will it be easier to take him into me
If I call upon him after I've left
The silence unbearable and too much
To count on my own without real
I trust the energy I read, yet
I am flesh and want flesh in return
When urgency, he looks into my eyes
And when the battle deflates, he leaves
Where is the man that held me for a kiss
That never met the lips upon me
As I requested to be slow
Into too much slow, into non-existence
I've waited there, here, on some dream
Visitations too few to remember felt
Was it only my imagination that you, he
Fixed your flaws for me to see, instead
Of any apology, knowing my desire
Or were you reading me in silence
I am done with all the secret feelings
As I analyze and mark whom I've
Risen above, because I leap and leap
What was your description among
As I decide whether you are speaking
Enough of the guessing, write and speak
With the voice that has been luring me
Hold me with the pheromones screaming
For the embrace so deep you never left

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