Oct 2015

Beyond Real

beyond real
Beyond Real


Beyond real, surreal; A movement still stirring in most who've seen these works. Perhaps cubism and expressionism stirred in. It is like emotions grew spirits to finish the paintings from another dimension, into dreams, to heal the viewer; to change when the viewer changes, to heal more. Could this painter be this sensitive, well, to everything. I would say she is when you've witnessed her unpack memories. Yet, this is not needed for her to put them onto more paper.

I was thinking of talking of Leonora Carrington, but when I started, I heard myself. Yes, her work is that powerful, even if I only recently discovered her. I seem to have been swimming in her same shadowed watching life-force, or something. When younger, I did enjoy Dali and Picasso and was moved by Van Gogh's brush strokes, but Leonora found something more. It is not just spirits or what some call hauntings. It is being witnessed by things others are afraid to enter, to see, or witnesses for things. They are wonderful understandings if you ever brave the depths of abyss, but maybe you don't even travel that way.

There is nothing more beautiful than what a woman creates when she is free. Her strength carrying her heart to stories to be touched. Touched on the inside of who would grab onto. We are too experienced in a world, a view, of a free man, or have we? There is nothing freer than a man who lets women be free. How many of those are there? How many of each (a free man and a free woman), that find each other and both their works (and souls) remain free? After all, Leonora did find Max Ernst. Where they both more because of this? Or, just more for such an entwine (not enmeshment, that is slavery) to be inevitable? Does it even matter if you've seen their works when you find yourself building your own entwine? It lives. It breathes, before either exist. It pulls, and drives the mind to grow branches on the neurons, that question life, and what is sanity?

I mean, what is sanity? Is it something we ever possess? Is it painful? Is it an ever sharper edge? Is it the relief of such feelings? Or, is it opportunity to walk a straight line, while being pulled? I mean, pulled from everywhere, because you are moving so fast towards something, or someone, or destiny. Is destiny, just a form of sanity or insanity? Call up your worth for one more painting or one more poem, knowing if never finished, your worth is already there. Get lost. Where will it take you, because it will, and you have to go? I usually find myself throwing and throwing away all the mess, only to find it is still there, redecorated to apply to these pages. For a head to turn, it would seem, drives me. Does it drive you?

I like the pitter-pat of thinking I'm on my own again; and, any other direction, not so much on the mind. I am always moving to a place where my feet keep going, reminding me my will is mine. Was Leonora like this? She knew she was deserving of her own strengths. Isn't that where magic happens?

Did she always feel watched as many paintings show, or was it a comfort to know she was never alone, so she wanted to share them? My favorite way of painting is large and in full body movement to express it. I've challenged myself to work small more recently. I do think it is good to explore our constant movement. Yes, it is just a paper, or canvas size, but is that all it is? Look at our lives, or anyone's life, written down. There are big scenes, some full, some symbolic, and then there are whispers, with their own speak; these are our goals, our dreams, our constants. I've held them close, and let them go. They have their own force, just like our hearts hanging on to loves, we tell the secrets to who we are close to. We tell them with our freedom to their freedom, about states of freedom. Our spirits, our hearts, know something bigger.

Sometimes we do not go back to a love that is painful, but our hearts can keep them there if they want and our souls don't have to stop touching if the not touching of would break them. This is where we heal. How to keep going and move on, no matter who or what we've loved and make everything we can, a something, and sometimes that something is beautiful and sometimes it heals someone, even an unknown, because we did it.

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Make Your Own Retreat

Make Your Own Retreat


Make Your Own Retreat


You do know you can always make a getaway into nowhere? Take a small town, (one without even a store would do0 and arrange a place there for one to three months. Keep up your routine and add new ones as needed. Do your craft and you will have a lone retreat. It seems insignificant, but any place has what you are looking for and somewhere with as little as possible will keep you more on task. Make it cozy, a small room for rent, a trailer, or a cabin. Find what speaks there and take photographs like an adventurer. Make it only one or two hours away (from where you live, lived, or plan to live), so not to think of it as a vacation. It is a bit of heaven you are making, but not a tour.


This distance also works out well if you need to commute to your
day job still and wish to be unavailable in other interruptions. The nice thing about this, if you are between places settling down, you could just make it your home for a while and no one would know what you are up to, if you like your goals to be more private. It keeps nay-sayers at bay because they think you are just lost, but you could be more found in this.

Maybe you already have the kind of life where you are retreating where you can. Then, take this more real step. It does not have to be a
camp full of like-minded people to end up escaping by chatting with them. Of course, you may make friends on your small town, or rural retreat, but less tempting to take every day from you like a group of dedicated avoidance creatives. Oh, how the latter can be its own muse, and take it when it is there, but this, alone in a new place, is a magic trip too. It is something that has its own time and not the schedule of a class you have to find and fit into. It can drop right into any major changes your life could throw at you. You can write, stare, or draw. You can research a place to put something you create later. It will speak to you, as you know.

The spirit of the place already called you most likely. It was a thing you thought would just get you from here to there, while you were looking for something else; but, what if this thing, was really what you were looking for, to have a little (or phenomenal) presence right now. Could you just fit every tool, and craft supplies in an extra suitcase and disappear for several weekends in a cabin somewhere in your lovely states park? Does it matter if it is in the middle of winter? I think all seasons have a place to possibly be just what you need.

Even if you have a child or two (or mate along) to show them a retreat with you. Give them some supplies or throw them outside to find what is on the block you planted your space on, and get your moments. Let them know it is planned this way and they'll see this place you found in their own eyes of wonder. Even if they lump along with attitude, they would have probably been the same anywhere, and show them how boredom is a personal problem. Show them the world is everywhere. Especially remember it yourself, so retreat, rest, turn on your mind. If nature obeys, the elk will run through your
backyard there. If you get snowed in all month, write about what is hidden under that cold blanket of shadows your avoiding, instead. Get your ink and paint the silence. It will be beautiful, even if the silence is your family's adventure being described to each other in the background.

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A Psychic Affair?

A Psychic Affair?


A Psychic Affair?


How psychic connection from both ends of a relationship forms spirit arteries and veins, and if develops long enough, forms a heart and brain between them? You start by both being so psychic it may have saved your life (possibly for many years, in their separate childhoods). If this can happen and they both meet, are they both healed from that childhood enough to not sabotage the deeper development? Then, how long it is formed before the physical relationship begins. This can happen even if there is no delay, but desperation (love and strength that forms with a longevity of a delayed start, develops into spirit links that never were to be) because most people develop a link more than this in a matter of months. It is rare for it to take longer, and sometimes, because one or both have a destined healing to accomplish through this, before so, it may take longer then.

It is possible for one or both to develop an in-love depth, even without 'real' dates or marriage-directions. Of course, this is all another place in life. It is like living in another universe, while living in this one. Once the relationship begins on a normal human playing field, it is as if they never developed the knowing of each other before hand. It is not quite like research of a perspective. It is quite unique. This beginning of the affair would be, as if it was a soul-mate, love at first sight, or love at first hearing, or love at first reading. Yet, it was more than a before they were born arrangement. There would most likely be a first soul encounter or the present life, no previous life, and definitely a
before this life arrangement, but like you walked through several building steps that were both dreams and daydreams, purposeful and shared.

By this time, when letters, phone calls and dates begin, there was notice of the other spirit, listening, watching and envisioning the same ideas. Once the human affair begins, there is a relief of plans that catalyst into more than imagined for either. There was lessons and wisdom exchanged before this, that developed into many creative projects for each, plus an evolution of quantum expanding into people they never could have been (nor anyone could have been) without it. None of the delay was ever on purpose, nor would it work like this. If delayed (how to know if it is a direction to pursue?): you
know this could happen, once time goes by and both are still developing to handle the non-existence of what they both animalistically, and human-brain-pulls that would naturally be with such compatibility (though not in person yet), with pheromone’s triggered.

This is also a dangerous point to not give in, to what hasn't started. It could tempt insanity or pain near that. It could also trigger obsessions and if either are unhealthy in their full healing from childhood, possible desires to possess like a spiritual puppet. If both have strong shamanic training, this will pass without that giving in to it being real yet, and wait for the development of the human connection that was to happen. I believe there are many strong relationships like this throughout history, but no one has documented it until now. It is a needed bond that one or both must have to develop into, world changing views and connections, for mass evolutions to heal Earth, populations of both humans and animals, and the universe. Possibly, known like Cleopatra and Antony, or who Shakespeare wrote about with Romeo and Juliet; or never known, and one of the partners was just a love of some great teacher that enjoyed a quiet background that was a major key, but no one put together, yet. I know those are scary examples if the only ones, but such relationships sometimes are more powerful than the two can live through, it is often what deters it from beginning. There are many that do not go through this, but their work, instead of their affair, is focused on.

If you remember to love yourself completely before putting this power into your life, or another person at any level of love, it could just look like a life-long relationship to everyone else (often so undermined in the spotlight as compared to what the people bring us). You definitely want to both be sane enough to distinct what you are beginning from infatuation, once this level is clear, you can embrace an intellectual equal you've been missing until now. If you are such genius, it would be easy to be pulled toward anyone that could reach your understanding of thinking because of how rare it was for each of you compared to everyone else you witnessed most of your life. This must be examined regularly. If it is meant to continuously be, then, it can stand through these little tests that bring new starts to your flames. Those new starts alone can make it worth it, and it protects your brains. Allow this phoenix quality to exist all along, eventually it will be a dance of close and distance that you will both enjoy to utilize the three kinds of times in a healthy relationship (alone, parallel, and together), and make magical leaps to your work with all three of those as well.

Though the possibility is fascinating and the world needs them, be cautious and not pursue unless you've stumbled into it. If you are open to healing the world and have healed yourself against statistics, you could be a candidate, but those two are enough for a life to embrace. What is your greatest wish? Everything will pull to it. If having a psychic affair is not your wish? Really it doesn't happen like that, who would ever wish that? It is something larger that would have been wished, and both have to have wished it. They also both have to be quite skilled at manifestation at this point where the wishes of each begin, and worded to and intended to NEVER go against anyone's will. Then, it is just pulled into. We are sometimes bigger than our own life, aren't we? Whether this possibility or not, is moot, it is the willingness to be
this big soul, that the world needs.

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Strength of Vulnerable Evolutionary Sight

Strength of Vulnerable Evolutionary Sight


Strength of Vulnerable Evolutionary Sight


I admit to everything. Inside where I scream at the exposure of such a human inconsistency or feelings that no one else possibly could; there, is where they or every one else, could just possibly be just as human as me. It is not some vulnerability kind of strength alone, that could go there either. Yet, many sit around mortified that someone might know they are weird or daydream too much. So, it becomes 'so what if...’ and I go on shrugging my shoulder and (as I said) admit everything when relevant and when admitting into art, always.

Oddly enough, secrets form in such moods and power in this distinctive openness. It is one of life's thresholds that really feels better on the other side of, if they ever could get over their puffed bravado they self-medicate with. That is why is makes you seem such a mystery, or rather it is what I've found has made me so. I've had an interesting life, but many do, if they observe it enough. Be your own story and call to your adventure. Perhaps it is as simple as admitting to one person you love, your most vulnerable thought, or tell the person next to you on the subway and shrug your shoulder and watch the view.

Mine? I'm in transition, so I can tell you it once was fear of not being loved by anyone and no one there when I needed it. Sound familiar? Maybe for everyone, this is a normal feeling to some degree. Mine ended though. I've evolved to a self love and strength that eliminated this view. Now? I think I've gotten to a place where I've said them all and I couldn't say anything new. It is just the usual
monkey suspects inside. Wow, didn't realize this was a stage. It is interesting. I'll take a moment to think about this and talk to you some more. I guess that is a vulnerability to be at a phase where there is not a “most” one to admit to, because I think this is such a necessary and attractively strong ability to have.

This life is just a bunch of vulnerability crashes to rise even higher from. Mysterious are the ones that do make me crash. Just as beautifully unexplainable way that makes me strong. I rise in the middle of a blubbering, ugly cry of '
how am I going to do this?' I find often that 'giving up' can be just what I needed. Yet, my determination is also needed. So, it is why there is a wave, but does it have to be a wave or a storm, like any other emotion. I think not.

I am currently trying to live in that, just after understanding '
giving up' state that it crosses into and just before my determination becomes aggressive (self or otherwise). I think with mindful steps, this can be a constant understanding underneath all the adventures I make. It can be as simple as I've mentioned before, what is fun right now? Even in extreme emotions of anger at a deserved disrespecting of my spirit or my direction, and perhaps the fun is in my compassion, even though I am angry and understanding their pain, and guiding them into seeing it more multi-dimensionally? Perhaps it is the evolution I allow myself to go into, by allowing myself to go where I need to feel without reserving any thoughts or emotions. Remember, compassion is not a reserve or a self-edit. It is always a choice. It is as simple as always choosing it.

So, what will life show you now that you are not trying to show it? What will it find when you are lost in your enjoying of the garlands around the doors you enter as well as when they are covered with branches? Yes,
it find: Life is also watching you. It is not just whether the cat is alive or dead in that old physics theory. What if life was really forming around, only you? It is. Life loves you. We live this in the 4th dimension only because all of life is living just for each one of us, at the same time, but it is worth glimpsing that thought and evolving our minds up to that. Can you draw that? Or, write poetry to that? There is much more than Cubism there. What can your spirit touch after that? Now it is time to put it down into an artistic work again and see it change every time, even the ones you already made. You can create like this, it is a wonderful constant you can implement. I'd love to see some of your results.

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