Jul 2015

Darkness Traveling

Darkness traveling

Darkness Traveling


The darkness is my friend. One I never stay with but always willing to see; That kind of friend. I've also said it is an enemy, I keep real close. Otherwise, it takes over. It can be silence at times and other times intolerably loud. Face it, go through it. Call it 'he,' call it 'she.' Personify it. Remember it is not chaos, though my friend and yours, can hide there too. I am unique, and a part of me has always lived there, but that isn't the advice I give you. It is a place I've chosen as a path, but I mention this because I consider myself a master of darkness because of. So I know many ways to meet, transform, or swallow the darkness. It is not evil either. It is you. It is always you.

Ignoring her, darkness, can take over your life. She can prevent you from having a good relationship because you can't form boundaries, because you are obsessed with triggers instead. A trigger you've installed in you to attack anyone that may make you face a part of yourself you want to go away, that you've never healed. They are painful, these parts, but much more painful buried or in the darkness, than with light upon them. I know it feels more intense with light upon them, but all emotions are temporary, unless you dwell on it and with her out and in your face, you can put her to rest, and she will fade to a dark fog that becomes a handful of issues.

I personally just go straight through it to the other side. It is like cold dark water, I'd prefer not to jump into but once in, it warms. That is the other side. A good way to never solve the issues that seem to rule you without your permission, is to just sit on the side and dip a toe in now and then. Yet, the facing of it regularly can mean one of the biggest strengths you'll ever have: No one will ever use it against you. In fact they will run from their own reflection in it, because you already know yours there and it made them look. That is what such vampiric parasited people do anyway, look into where your fears sleep, expecting to turn them on you and then feeding off of your living in this. They cannot handle you handling them. It makes them face their own, and those are quite large and full of their own drowning.

So, this traveling through, is quite a strength and protection. It is the only real authenticity. Why a true self? Why would we ever be this human we tote around, if we could not be what we make ourselves to be, with all the 'rules' upon us lifted. Those past demons only have power if you do not move through your own darkness. You are only meant to be, only what you make yourself to be, not what you think you must become to please someone else's angst. That is a pit never full. It is about feeling better. It is always about feeling better.

I realize that sometimes such penetration that lurks there, can really shake your world. That is how we can change where we were rooted, or at the best, shake loose the pain that was buried years deep. It is safe to cry that ugly cry, into the light again. The world will forever have changed if you do. It becomes the world we all need. Let it.

Then, like me here, on this new sense of life without what we hung onto, that no longer served us. We move on somewhere with ourselves more whole and filled with the euphoria of relief that had settled in those holes we left in the darkness, warm now. That is all that is in the darkness anyway, holes we left behind, nothing, so don't be afraid of who we are to become, become.

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Woman Artist

woman artist

Woman Artist

This is me, influenced by men in a woman's body. I don't know what else to say there, but waiting for my representing. How does it all come out, when the paint before me was on a his-face? I liked where my mind went when I looked at their escaping, so much more than the so much less on top the she's had. Am I the woman I influence? I must be, therefore I am what will influence. I am the nest it found, because under all my views, I am still a woman with womb. I am what makes things grow. I am beyond the seed, into new life. My brush will find the whispers of a goddess instead.

Is this what it is like for actors, directors, and comedians, because I certainly feel it as a writer and a painter? I don't want to get used to being less than 1 in 10 at the top. I want it to be okay I am influenced as much by men's creativity as a woman's, not because I am forced to. I want to be able to hire a male director because his vision is like mine, not because I cannot even compare a woman to this. Better yet, a male director may be just what I need as the other half of my vision because somewhere out there a man's writing is finding a woman's vision for his director. I want to support my gender without it being my only choice because no one else is.

This is where the magic comes in. Masculine and feminine energy are needed for a whole feeling. Sometimes a man, or a woman, can bring these two forces together on their own and sometimes we need a match. We can find this in a variety of needs that bring women and men together in different balances. The problem with this is, it is not balanced out there already and we feel forced to balance it when we look at our public. We miss that freedom of finding our own personal centering. So, as we grow to becoming these professionals, we have to fight for the line we hold somewhere in between a personal and a public need.

Whether it is a collaboration to make a movie or to share a gallery show, it feels the same, that line. I guess, the question is, do you listen? If we all listened, despite the frustration of where it pulls us, would that line become the balance needed to go back to our instinctive artist again? Or, is it better to stay awake here at the table? I want to put out my work, that the patriarch society tells me to not make because it is gross to see what a woman thinks, because I am triggered here. I also want to put out my work that has no particular influence and be drawn to partners that feed that vision, whatever sex my catalysts come in.

I want my work to be advertised because my name gets known because my style gets known, not because I am 'woman artist.' (I am sure that line is familiar with other than white artists as well.) Why can't we change faster? I see this resistance in many relationships I've interacted with. Sometimes a slow pace is important, but here? This is needed to gain some speed again. It has been on auto-drive since the 60's and 70's and we have some hills and curves to gain some momentum through. Now that a few more generations question why we stopped where we did, let's get going. If no one is at the wheel, then anyone can stop it as the world is oblivious. Let’s make sure our world does not stay oblivious. I have my wheel, do you?

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Success is Nothing But Openness and Boundaries

Openness and boundaries

Success is Nothing But Openness and Boundaries


This is about approaching life in a direct path to high achievement, especially emotionally while also being successful. How to stay open and what level of openness is the kind of thinking you want (rather than what can I keep secret and closed). It is not a matter of sharing everything in that state either. Boundaries must be set in, as to what is etiquette in the level of asking of you, in the relationship that the conversations is going on in. If you want a successful intimate relationship, a point of total openness, yet complete respect as to what may be private to your mate, is the direction you want to rise to with your partner. From inside a less open relationships as close friendships, to business acquaintance, to just met friendly stranger, all have levels of openness, a type of vulnerability and authenticity. Yes, even with the just met stranger. A constant check system inside yourself to put yourself back into this feeling of open when you feel yourself shrinking into a place to hide. That in the end, being open will feel better at the close of your day, than that you spent the day hiding from such beauty that you would have discovered open.

It is a feeling of an open heart but everything exposed, yes, but that is a sometimes feeling. It is more that you have no secrets or anything you are not willing to face, in any situation. Then, allowing the conversation itself to dictate what you are willing to put into it, if asked such personal directions. It is not a matter of going into the place where you talk to such a person, already hidden behind walls. See, you can have things you choose not to share, but a moment, by moment decision, combined with boundaries as to where you are at with the person you are with, and are they respecting you in such asking. Is it just a matter of being brief in your description of your taboo life, and the person is satisfied and moves on to talk about something else? Usually is, but if they feel your walls and locked doors, they may become more interested than either of you want them to. This is how to have true privacy, in total revelation of who you are, to any you talk to. A tricky, intelligent, and beautiful game.

I have been asked as to how I can be so authentic, yet such a mystery. It is as simple as above. This is how I take every moment. I do sometimes have a subject I do not want to be on before I even meet up with a group, but I never let it win. I let it just be a desired goal, never a fortress I carry. It is good to review what areas you do want to avoid and practice brief descriptions and conversation changers, but never practice how to be closed. Secrets hang on people as a target to pry, many well-meaning people will not resist such tempting tickles you dangle before them as these. Definitely, have no problem saying
no, or I'm not going into that. Just wait for the opportunity to not go there, don't cary it. Just, completely understand who you are and what you've done, ever. Be honest with yourself. Check yourself throughout your days as to why you do things. Knowing yourself, the ever moving, pure, knowing yourself, is how you keep a private life.

This is especially understood by those who must live in the spotlight and wish no one to ever own them, to be there. If you are honest and authentic, you never have to remember who you are when asked spontaneously by the prying public, for such individuals. This is how. Always, truly be, yourself. Open to that enquiry, they do not have to know your boundaries unless they hit them and you can politely guide them elsewhere. Such smiles, that authentic celebrities shine, often make anyone trying to bring them more to light, get distracted by such truly nice people they are. That distraction will keep them interested in you and at the same time, where you want them interested in you.

So, now that you know some of my secrets as to how to have real secrets while no one feels they are missing a thing, I'll duck out of this conversation and go on to have some tea. How else could I go write, if I didn't know how to enjoy a good cup of tea (or sometimes coffee)?

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Hunters and Gatherers

hunter and gatherers

Hunters and Gatherers

We are only hunters and gatherers. Perhaps someone somewhere has decided men are hunters and women are gatherers but human tribes were more than this. There were men that gathered and women that hunted. These two ancient habits are in our genetics of what we needed to become the humans of today. This is where we still communicate. This is how we can know how to connect with one another. Find out your leanings and then figure out what your partner in the conversation is in. It helps, with deep understanding, to communicate on this level.

What do I mean by this? Do you need to gather around in a circle to get deep into each other's minds or do you need to sit side-by-side or walk next to a person to get that deep? This is what I mean and where I am coming from. If you can figure this out, you can avoid some misunderstandings and get close to your friend in ways you never would have, doing another way.

I do think the 'battle' of equality and against labeling something as gender specific, is as simple as this. We have different needs, based on different pieces of our ancestry, that is all. On that field of tall stages, it is only a matter of speaking, gathering to some and hunting to others. If we didn't have to worry about paternal and maternal, and just get there, into their heart, where we are alike, things will click. Perhaps it was never about eye-contact and the perfect suit. It was simply a matter of placement while speaking.

How does this have to do with spirit and wisdom? If we could get along in our soul searching, the world is so much closer to peace, especially with your own specific world being at peace. This is how we get there. If we are both hunters and gatherers trying to speak the other's lingo, then try sitting differently and hearing them from that perspective. It can be as simple as that: A hidden button of boundary respect. If you were in a disagreement and the sitting changed, your miscommunication can become rhythmic again. Life is, after all, all about the rhythm of things. We can find where our hearts beat the same, even if only for a few conversations at a time.

Now, forget about any disagreements, what if you haven't had one of those yet? You only just met or you aren't anywhere near having a clash, because you are in the beginning of an intimate relationship. You want to get closer to this person and get as far as touching them. Figuring out if they need the circling or the side-by-side will be important here too. Try a little of each and feel how close you are getting and observe their responses, so if you have to split the communication into a little of each, you could know right from the beginning of your friendship.

This will help decide if you go to a restaurant for a date, whether to sit across from your interest or sharing the same side of a booth; whether to look deep into their eyes or put your arm around them. Maybe your second date could be the other. The sooner you know whether you are with a hunter or a gatherer, the better you will get along. You will feel like you'd been waiting all your life to communicate on this level with someone. What a wonderful way to start your bond? So, hold that in your thoughts for a while and find out who you are with. You'll love them more for it, and they you.

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How Healthy Is Your Libido?

libido

How Healthy Is Your Libido?


That will be the only thing that will bring you exactly what you are capable of. I'm writing a book, “The Sex of Art.” In it I show how all creation depends on the level of your sex: sex life, its health, its energy, and its openness. This is true for art and spirituality. Your spirt has to have all its chains removed, to gain creation, or magics, on the level you wish. I cover in the book, that this is when women have so much trouble to toward the top. Men know this and some have been exhausting women for years, so that the women will quit way before rising. If a woman found such energy, she is a whore (right?), no matter how many men have been through her door.

Well, things are changing and women as well as the men who love them strong, are figuring things out. This, security with our sex, is a big part of that power she can grab. So, creation uses it, and so does manifestation, which is also creation. Let those visions include this security. If you are into more rituals than that, and want to add things to your magical practices, I suggest having a date night with your thoughts and meditations. This will also give you needed energy to work on projects after you are done playing. Though, painting and writing can also be considered playing...or playing a character for your friends.

There are some particular meditations that focus on kegel along with particular Qigong breathing that also help bring energy at any time you may need it. Just the mention of that can give you some ideas to add to your own regular trances.

Sometimes it is only a matter of being sensual. Feel flowing along a long walk in nature. Become fluid with the love of your body moving continuously through the steps. See yourself outside yourself as you go, and how beautiful you are...how sexual you are. These types of mindsets are important to feel a continuous sexualness, to feel sexy most of the time. Sexy can even come on days of low self image, it is as insignificant and as important as when you get hungry or feel satisfied because you fed yourself. It can make you forget a low image at times, but that is much more complex than that. There are many things your soul and mind desire (make lists), fulfilling that can keep low views at bay. Those are like thoughts that float in a meditation, you notice them, and let them pass.

Have you bought yourself flowers? Both men and women can enjoy this gift to yourselves. Get a place you regularly fill a vase. Once a week, or up to two weeks, then smell them when you pass them. Touch the petals with your nose and stay awhile. These are yours and you deserve them, every time you see them again. Touch them with your fingers and hand. Sit across from them with a tea or coffee.

These things seem simple, written down like this, but we forget. You are the most important love. Fill yourself up, so you can have much to give. With all the extra you will gain with regular practice, you will also have much to give your crafts. Doing what you love is the best prayer of
thank you you can give the Universe, or yourself. Thank yourself, said with the heart, will fill the light.

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