Can Children Become Narcissist Proof?

Narcissist Poof


Can Children Become Narcissist Proof?


I want to know what anyone can tell me about what a narcissist or a person with borderline personality disorder, says to their child, when no one is around. How do they pass down the pain? I've been compared to many with sexual child abuse, and I know my mother was a survivor. I also know she messed me up with the things she did, and technically can be said to have never touched me. Yes, a spanking with a belt had happened, but that was in the 1970s when others got that discipline too, and didn't get the same damage. It was not that. That just didn't help. When I make a list, I can see it. Yet, inside my thoughts are shushes and convincing's that nothing wrong happened to me and it was all in my head.

She would inspect me to make sure I was wearing underwear before going out, as a teen. She didn't touch me though. She called me a slut, when I hadn't even lost my virginity. She told me I was going to get raped and it would be my fault. This, this was me as a teen, and what I can remember. What about me as a young child, unable to speak about what my emotions were? Why do I not go to those memories? Why did my sister wet the bed so much? A person we are supposed to trust, can be horrifying and look quite normal to us, that and we don't know what is happening to us, because we conviantly don’t remember. I really mean, I don't know of a thing that was said to me, but I don't remember
any story at all, as well.

If I had exposed my child to narcissistic relatives because an ex of mine seemed to have been one himself, is she struggling too? I teach her advocacy. I find things that should not happen (that have nothing to do with this questioned subject), quite disturbing as my child explains them. I also know, I am strange and survived extreme illness that she witnessed. She writes, she draws, and she finds ways to speak beyond her years. I teach her to speak up and tell on him (or anyone), is this enough to make such people stop getting in their poor little heads? To not be a victim, is it enough to not become a victim? She does tell when things aren't right, but why do such 'not-right' things happen? Are they a part of a child's views, and jerks that think they can take away all that keep them safe to just cause anxiety in both the child and the parent that is now his ex? At what point is a jerk, too much and too wrong?

I mostly asked all that line of questioning, to understand what happened to me. I am in the autistic spectrum and abused by a narcissistic parent that also had borderline personality disorder. There are not many books on how a person with autism or dyslexia sees abuse or how they experience abuse. This is why I ask, because my daughter is also in the spectrum and her father is not easy for her to handle at times. She had accomplished a lot to study what she has to make sure her voice is heard. That already is better than me. He has problems, but so far, not to the extent I witnessed from my mother; but, no one knew but my sister and me, what we were dealing with. She hid it well. So, when is an asshole, just an asshole; and when is an asshole something to be
supervised?

Please don't assume anything here, but from my own experience. My girl struggles with a divorce and a father that goes to denial to (not)deal with things. He doesn't want to confront anything, so it could just be a matter of a weak person, not speaking up for her, and this hurts her that she has to do it herself. Who would that not hurt? She has come so far in being able to do that too. I teach her by advocating for her to him and teaching her to say what she needs with respect and integrity. She's pretty good at it. Now, I want to know, what gets into a child's head, when such angry people that do not love themselves, to the extreme my mother was, and vengeful of a child not being hurt enough compared to their own experiences, that they are “sneaky?” This is something I do see in him, her father: The whole, you must suffer in life attitude. No matter how I've proven this is not true and proven he denies too much to know what is best sometimes, he hangs on to this view, and pushes this view.

It could be I am only advocating where I wasn't and her list was only a small list. Is my advocating preventing a long list, or is it, there never would have been a long list and I am not sure what such would seem? So, again, my warped perspective of my childhood gets examined. I remember never being protected. I remember pain in my body, that has been proven is happening to me, but I cannot feel. At what point of pain have I endured to not feel a migraine that is going on in my body, or chronic pain so bad it had fatigued me when I was ill, but I only felt exhausted and no pain. This examination, by some would quickly say I was sexually abused but just can't remember. The thing is, that is only of the slightest maybe, my point is bigger than whether that is true. My point is, how do we prove or protect ourselves or other children, when all the abuse is mental and sneaky and brainwashingly mastering? ...Besides finding a friend of our own, that has dealt with that?

I think there are all sorts of levels of what these people do to try and “control” another human being, especially the ones that make themselves even more ill with how badly they want to control someone else. How can such be monitored? How can it be tested to bring it out? As far as I can tell, unless you write it out or discover a kindred spirit, there is nothing to help find this. These people are masters at manipulation. Are there therapists immune to this enough to find what is really true? If so, is there ever anything more than just some fodder to help the “victim” and nothing to lean on, nothing solid, only fluid like their plots. They are plotting everything. Can anyone even tell that? Is there a psych test out there to catch them at that? If so, what about the geniuses, and super geniuses, playing the whole, “I don't know anything smart” angle? Will they get found in such testing?

Is this all about why some artists (of any art) have such madness because of being raised by
genius mind-fucks? Is this what makes more of them while breaking others? Me? I think I am a survivor and I have gotten great strength from figuring out what I have, even though I cannot prove anything besides making a great story to explain it. I battle my own versions of PTSD from my last relationship, yet cannot explain anything accept that someone got in my head good until I was nothing but bed ridden. What is that? Is it real, as they want us to question reality? Is it some silent man full of grumpy views? Don't forget how easily a person you love can get into your heart and mind. What does someone only pretending to love you get access to when they get in there? This is a dangerous place that I do not want to ever go back to again. I will study and write. I will love my girl and teach her my strengths. I will probably love again after I've built these boundaries stronger, I will know them well before I ever have one date, and only because I found someone sharing themselves, not because I shared only me. I have pretty good boundaries now, that I've helped heal my friends with, but I am only looking to be authentic and find authenticity returned. So, here is another point of view in my vulnerability. Maybe I'll even blow my own mind as to my strengths, and I am thankful for that.

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